Dear Papa Joe: Cousin's Persistent Advances Stir Family Concerns
A 27-year-old woman from Liloan, Cebu, writing under the pseudonym Didit, has reached out to the advice column "Talk to Papa Joe" with a deeply personal dilemma. Her situation began during a family reunion on her mother's side, where relatives of all ages gathered, leading to an unexpected and troubling connection.
Unwanted Romantic Interest from a Cousin
Didit explains that she initially felt a friendly rapport with a male cousin at the reunion, admitting she found him likable but without romantic intentions. However, the dynamic shifted when he started inviting her to outings with other cousins, gradually escalating his advances. He eventually confessed his love and pursued a relationship, despite her clear rejection.
The cousin's persistence has become overwhelming, with late-night messages claiming he cannot sleep if she does not reply. Didit's primary fear is that her live-in partner might discover this situation, potentially leading to conflict or misunderstandings. She worries about family scandal if the matter becomes public, especially since the cousin suggests keeping a secret relationship.
Seeking Guidance Amidst Anxiety
In her plea for help, Didit expresses reluctance to confide in her family, concerned it might cause embarrassment or drama. She feels trapped, unsure how to handle the cousin's continuous pressure without escalating tensions or revealing the issue to others.
Papa Joe's Response: Honesty and Boundaries
Papa Joe responds by questioning whether Didit might have inadvertently encouraged the cousin's behavior, noting that such persistence often stems from mixed signals. He advises that if she has not given any indication of interest, she should not feel guilty. His recommendations include:
- Communicate openly with her parents first, followed by her live-in partner, to address the situation proactively.
- Emphasize that a scandal can be avoided through clear understanding and dialogue.
- If the cousin continues despite this, consider blocking him, as he is less likely to visit once her family is aware.
Papa Joe concludes by acknowledging that the decision ultimately rests with Didit, hinting that she might be hiding something herself, but he respects her privacy. He encourages readers to send their own concerns to his email for future advice columns.
