For many Filipinos in their middle age, a significant part of life involves navigating the complex journey of caring for elderly parents. This reality, often marked by profound challenges and emotional depth, is a shared experience for a generation. A personal account from a local journalist sheds light on the raw, unfiltered truths of this role, especially when a parent approaches their 90s.
The Hospital Dramas and the Plea for Release
The year 2025 brought two major health crises for her 89-year-old mother. The first was a hospital admission following a doctor's diagnosis pointing to the onset of dementia. Through this trial, the family found solace in alternative healing practices, with the journalist noting the role of pranic healing in her mother's recovery. She returned home slower yet retaining her characteristic strong will.
The second battle was against pneumonia. Both ordeals followed a painful pattern: the elderly woman would return home in a state more weakened and battered than when she was first admitted. In the weary aftermath of these confinements, a recurring conversation emerged. The mother, expressing her exhaustion, would repeatedly say, "Ayoko na! Hirap na hirap na ako!" (I don't want this anymore! I am struggling so much!).
The daughter's response became a resigned refrain: "Kayo mag-usap ni God dahil wala akong magagawa" (You talk to God because I can't do anything about it). This exchange highlights a stark shift in perspective when caring for the very old. Topics once considered morbid become part of ordinary dialogue. Death transforms into a tangible reality, often viewed not with fear, but with a sense of readiness and acceptance.
From Active Contributor to Patient Waiter
The journalist reflects on her mother's vibrant past, which makes the present contrast more poignant. Her mother was a dedicated public school teacher. Even into her mid-80s, she served actively as the president of the senior citizens' association in their village. Less than five years ago, she was independently navigating jeepneys and malls, even making a daring trip to the SSS office during the Covid-19 pandemic, much to her family's alarm.
Today, that independence has faded. She can no longer walk unassisted outside their home. Her world has shrunk to sleeping, sitting, eating, and watching television. She has given up crocheting because it hurts her hands, shows no interest in reading or drawing, and now instructs her caregiver to complete the Wordsearch puzzles she once enjoyed.
This dramatic slowdown is a powerful catalyst for the daughter's own introspection. She contemplates how she herself would wish to spend her most senior years. While she acknowledges that some activities, like crocheting, may become physically painful, she considers alternatives like painting. She vows to hold on to writing and healing practices.
Reflections on Aging and the 'Earth Contract'
The core realization is that aging inevitably brings a significant slowing down. This may be due to tired eyes, unsteady hands, or weakening legs. A multitude of physical changes occur. However, the narrative underscores a crucial point: as long as one's "Earth contract"—a metaphor for life—is not yet over, there is a vital need to remain engaged.
Finding purpose, however small, becomes the antidote to an agonizing daily wait for the end. The elderly have often fulfilled their core duties: raising families, contributing to society. Now, in their frailty, the challenge—for them and their caregivers—is to navigate this final chapter with dignity, patience, and the understanding that conversations about mortality are not taboo, but a natural part of the journey.
The story, originally shared by SunStar columnist Estremera on December 30, 2025, offers no easy solutions. Instead, it provides a deeply relatable and honest look at a phase of family life that many Filipinos face, blending frustration, humor, love, and profound philosophical questioning about life's final act.
