A 45-year-old widow from Cebu, writing under the name Liza, is torn between her feelings for a boarder named Chris and the ethical implications of his existing relationship. Chris, a man from Mindanao, is currently living apart from his pregnant partner, who returned to Mindanao to give birth. Liza owns a boarding house where Chris rents a room.
An Unexpected Connection
Liza explains that she and Chris began talking frequently on weekends when he had no work. He would help her with household chores, and she learned that his live-in partner is actually the younger sister of his deceased wife. Chris was previously married, but his wife died in an accident, and he has no children from that marriage. Liza describes Chris as kind and responsible.
One night, when they were the only ones awake, their mutual feelings surfaced and they became intimate. Their relationship has remained a secret.
The Proposal
Chris has now proposed a secret marriage, promising to continue supporting his pregnant partner and their future child. He claims he loves Liza more. Liza confesses that this is the first time she has felt such intense emotions in ten years since becoming a widow.
"Karon pa ko naka-feel og balik og intense feeling after ten years sa akong pagkabiyuda," Liza writes.
Noy Kulas' Advice
Noy Kulas, the advice columnist, acknowledges that legally there is no obstacle since both are single. However, he emphasizes the ethical dimension: Chris is still committed to his pregnant partner, who is also his sister-in-law. "Ang problema di legal, kondi ethical ba nga magminyo mo? Di gyud," Noy Kulas states.
He advises Liza to consider how she would feel if she were in the other woman's shoes—being left by the man she loves and trusted to be the father of her child. "Pangutan-a ang imong kaugalingon kon ikaw ang naa sa habig sa babaye. Unsa kaha ang imong bation kon masayod ka nga biyaan ka sa lalaki nga imong gihigugma, gisaligan ug imong gipili nga mamahimong amahan sa imong anak?"
Conclusion: Prioritize the Partner and Child
Noy Kulas concludes that the relationship should be ended for the sake of Chris' partner and their unborn child. He calls it a case of loving at the wrong time, suggesting that if Chris had been free of commitment, the situation might have been different. "Sa ginaingon pa nga nagkahigugmaay mo sa di tukma ug sayop nga panahon," he writes.
