A reader named Lawrence, 34 and single, shares his heartfelt story with advice columnist Noy Kulas. Lawrence has been in love with Shobe, 33, his mother's second cousin's daughter, since childhood. Their mothers are close cousins and classmates, so Lawrence and Shobe grew up together, playing and even attending elementary school as classmates. Although they lost contact in high school and college, weekends and family outings kept them connected. Lawrence never courted Shobe due to their family ties, but he always listened to her love life while remaining single himself, as she was the only one in his heart.
The Confession
Unable to bear his feelings any longer, Lawrence confessed to Shobe. Initially, she laughed, but when she realized he was serious, she admitted she felt the same way. However, she worried about their family relationship. They kept their relationship secret, but now Shobe is three months pregnant. Lawrence asks for advice on what to do and whether their families will be torn apart.
Noy Kulas's Advice
Noy Kulas reassures Lawrence that legally, there is no problem because they are third cousins. Philippine law only prohibits marriage up to the third degree of consanguinity, which includes first cousins. Since they are beyond that, marriage is legal. The real challenge is cultural: their families may initially be shocked and angry. However, Noy Kulas explains that anger and shock are natural initial reactions, and once emotions settle, forgiveness is likely. Even if their families disapprove, since Shobe is already pregnant, they can marry without their families' blessing if necessary. Lawrence should first tell his own family to gain support before facing Shobe's family. He should not be afraid, as they are both adults.
